


i'll still love you

by DragonsAndCryptids



Series: FT one-shots [11]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Blood and Gore, Character Death, Heavy Angst, M/M, Manga: Fairy Tail 100 Years Quest, i mean...., it's SLIGHTLY less tragic this time, like two of the four scenes i actually like from it, once again i am turning gray into a demon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:14:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonsAndCryptids/pseuds/DragonsAndCryptids
Summary: After learning of the demon seed developing in him due to his demon slayer magic, Gray vows never to use it again. But when Freed forces his hand, he's not left with any other options. He can only hope it doesn't send him over the edge.
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Series: FT one-shots [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1618369
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	i'll still love you

**Author's Note:**

> I said I wasn't going to touch 100yq but me and my friend were talking about one of the few redeemable scenes in it, so yeah, now you get this

_ “Well then I’ll just never use it again.”  _

_ Natsu sighed, and gave Gray a concerning look. Of course, as soon as the words had left Porlyusica’s mouth, he had expected his boyfriend to come to that conclusion.  _

_ “That’s not going to do anything in the long run,” the healer warned. “I suppose it  _ might _ slow it down, a bit. But for the most part, it won’t do you a lick of good.”  _

_ “Well what the hell am I supposed to do then!?” he demanded. “I—”  _

_ Natsu gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll figure something out. I mean… Igneel managed to stop it for me.” He turned back to Porlyusica. “How long do we have? Before… well, you know.”  _

_ Porlyusica sighed. “I can’t say for sure. Unless something happens, I’d say about a decade or so, considering he’s had these abilities for a year already and nothing too drastic has happened, your fight with Dragneel aside.”  _

_ Gray flinched, but at least some of the tension seemed to be leaving his body.  _

_ “See.” Natsu nudged his shoulder. “Ten years is plenty of time to figure something out. We’ll start looking, maybe we can even figure out where and how your father learned demon slaying magic in the first place.” The dragons had found a way to prevent any of their slayer powers from going out of control, so that  _ did _ mean it was possible. It was entirely plausible for them to do this.  _

_ Gray shook his head. “I’m still not going to use my demon slayer powers. If there’s even a  _ chance _ that can make this… this change slower, then I’m taking it.” _

_ Natsu didn’t bother trying to argue with him. After all, Gray was right. It was obvious heavy use of his slayer abilities… affected him in strange ways, mentally. His time in Avatar and the way he’d snapped during their own battle had proven that. “It’ll be okay. We’ll get it all figured out.”  _

_ There was no way they’d let Gray’s demonic powers overtake him like that.  _

* * *

As soon as the idea bloomed into existence, Gray wished it hadn’t. God, how he wished. Because it made perfect sense, it was the only thing he could do in this scenario. But if he’d never thought of it, he’d never have to consider it. Never have to come to terms with it, because he knew he had no other option. 

The second Freed had made the rule that he couldn’t use his ice magic, Gray had been backed into a corner. An awful, miserable corner. 

_ It’s fine, _ he told himself.  _ One time won’t hurt. It won’t. I’ve used my demon slayer magic before, and nothing’s gone wrong. It’ll be okay. _

He ignored that it was different this time. He  _ had _ to ignore it. Otherwise he knew he’d never do it, fall back on this power. Because now there was nothing to dilute it, he would be forced to use the pure demonic part of his powers, digging it out from deep within him, drawing it out of the deep pit he’d desperately shoved it into after his fight with Natsu. 

But he had no choice. 

So he threw all caution to the wind, and called on that dark magic, letting it race through him. 

He gasped and clutched at his chest, the sudden rush of power overwhelming him for a moment, knocking the breath right out of him. 

Freed’s eyes narrowed as the markings raced over Gray, greedily lapping away at his pale skin. 

Already, Gray could feel that tug, that subtle nagging, a desire for blood and destruction, that he hadn’t felt since he’d fought Natsu. The need to feel things  _ break _ beneath his fingers, a hunger for the world to freeze around him. 

Except he had no ice now. Just this smothering darkness, and three opponents. 

He grimaced, and turned his attention towards Evergreen, wanting,  _ needing _ to get this over with as soon as possible, before it was too late for him to come back on his own. 

He didn’t notice as his markings spread past their normal place, just a touch too far, or the smile that began to tug at his lips as he attacked. 

* * *

_ “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Natsu asked. “We can wait, until after we find a solution. Obviously, this quest isn’t going anywhere.”  _

_ “Come on.” Gray nudged his shoulder. “We finally got permission for it. And besides, maybe we’ll find something while we’re on it, outside Ishgar. Maybe that’s what we need.” He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he wanted to go on as many quests as he could with Natsu and everyone else, before it was too late. Natsu had been daydreaming about the hundred year’s quest since he had first learned about it, and honestly, Gray had too. Natsu had a certain way of getting him excited for things he normally wouldn’t be excited for. And besides, he didn’t want to be the reason that his boyfriend put off this thing that he really wanted to do.  _

_ “Maybe… but I just feel like you could enjoy it more if… you know, you weren’t so worried about everything,” Natsu said. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m dragging you into this.”  _

_ Gray scoffed. “As if I’d let you drag me into anything I didn’t actually want to do.”  _

_ Natsu frowned. “I’m serious.”  _

_ “And so am I!” Gray took the dragon slayer’s hand. “Look, I know you’re worried. I am, too. Hell, I’m fucking terrified about what will happen if we don’t stop this  _ demon seed _ or whatever the hell it is that’s doing this to me. But I refuse to let it stop me from doing these kinds of things with you, and the rest of our friends. Because if I’m going to die, or transform, or whatever might happen if we can’t stop it, I at least want to have been happy with my life before then, yeah?”  _

_ “Gray…”  _

_ “Wouldn’t you have done the same thing, if you knew about your dragon and demon seed?” he asked.  _

_ “I… I mean yeah, I just… I don’t know what I would do if you followed me on this quest and ended up in some situation where you had to push yourself too hard and then…” He turned his head away, letting his unruly pink hair fall into his eyes. “It’s my fault you snapped the first time… If I’d told you the truth—”  _

_ “Hey.” Gray tightened his hold on Natsu’s hand, and patiently waited for the dragon slayer to turn and look him in the eye again.  _

_ Slowly, Natsu faced him, guilt swimming in his eyes. It didn’t matter how many times Gray had told him, he just couldn’t seem to convince Natsu that that fight hadn’t entirely been his fault. “We both made some bad decisions, and were influenced by our magic. Yeah, even if you hadn’t told me, you should have told someone. But there’s nothing to do about it now, and I’m not going to hold it against you. Do you blame me?”  _

_ “Of course not!” he immediately protested. “I could never—!”  _

_ “And I’d never blame you either.” He pulled Natsu closer, and pressed a soft kiss to his forehead. “So don’t worry about it. Besides… nothing is going to happen on this quest anyways.”  _

* * *

Evergreen didn’t dare to move, not while she was pinned, lying flat on the pavement, with Gray’s boot resting on her head. He hadn’t put any real pressure down yet, but evidently, she didn’t want to risk it. Perhaps she was smarter than Gray had given her credit for. 

“Stop,” he whispered. What was he doing? He’d just wanted to defeat them, he didn’t want to actually  _ hurt _ them. They were guildmates, friends. So why wasn’t he letting up? Why was he considering shoving down hard enough that Evergreen’s skull might fracture? He didn’t  _ want _ to hear that cracking, to watch her writhe in agony. 

Did he? 

He attempted to shove the demonic power back, he didn’t need it anymore, he was  _ winning, _ there was no reason for this. 

But now that he’d let it out, there was no putting it back. It was like trying to put the liquid back into a glass after it’d been dumped out on the floor. Sure, he could shove little parts of it back in, little droplets, but it wasn’t enough to really matter. Not in the least. 

His smile stretched wider. 

Why was he even trying, anyways? It was out now, so what did it matter? 

“Stop.”

Evergreen screeched as he shoved his foot down, smashing her face against the cobblestone. 

Bixlow and Freed begged him to stop, but he didn’t let up, watching with morbid fascination as blood began to pool around Evergreen’s head, rushing down the cracks in the pavement. He wished the other two men would shut up, he really wanted to better hear the satisfying cracking of her skull being shattered. 

Evergreen began to flail, desperately trying to throw him off, and his smile vanished, melting into a grimace. With her moving so much, he couldn’t actually  _ enjoy _ this. Not like he wanted to. 

“What am I doing?”

He dimly noticed Freed disabling his runes, shouting that he didn’t need to do this, he could use his ice magic now! Just stop relying on his demonic powers! 

He pulled his foot back, and his deranged smile returned as Evergreen sobbed in relief. 

He stomped his heel back down before she could get up, crunching right through her skull and smashing through her brain. 

Evergreen’s cries of pain abruptly cut off, her body twitching a couple times, before growing completely still. 

Gray hummed, and pulled his foot back from the gory mass her head had become, a wet, sticky soup of fractured skull, brain, and red-stained hair. Even a few pieces of shattered glass stuck in her head, courtesy of her broken glasses. 

Well, that was one enemy defeated. 

* * *

_ “Aren’t you gonna come eat?” Gray asked, settling down next to Natsu. “Dinner will get cold.”  _

_ “M’not hungry,” he muttered, pulling his knees up to his chest and resting his forehead on them. “I’ll get some later.”  _

_ “Natsu…” He  _ never _ skipped out on meals. And certainly not to hide in their room and sulk. “It wasn’t your fault—”  _

_ “Don’t,” he whispered as his shoulders tightened. “Don’t do that.”  _

_ “It  _ wasn’t,” _ Gray insisted, knowing he needed to convince Natsu of that  _ now, _ or he would never be able to.  _

_ Natsu uncurled, but only to lay down on the bed and face away from Gray. “Then who the hell’s was it?” His voice shook, and Gray wondered if he’d been crying before he came in. “No one else’s magic touched her,  _ burned her, _ except mine. So who the hell else’s fault could it be?”  _

_ Gently, Gray laid his hand on Natsu’s back, rubbing soothing circles. “Your magic went out of control, it happens to everyone on occasion.”  _

_ “And everyone burns their friends? Everyone tries to mutilate an opponent that was already down? What the hell is wrong with me? Is it…” He let out a shaky breath. “I don’t think E.N.D. is completely gone…”  _

_ Gray sighed, and laid down next to him, wrapping his arm around the dragon slayer’s chest. “Probably not. I don’t think… I don’t think that part of you will ever be completely gone.”  _

_ “How could you just be okay with that?” he rasped. “How could you—”  _

_ “Because I love you.” Gray tightened his hold on him. “And I know you don’t  _ want _ to be that way, don’t want to be that demon.”  _

_ “But I  _ am.”  _ He began to squirm, like he wanted to shake Gray off, before stilling again before he made any actual progress. “And what if it gets worse? What if this kind of stuff keeps happening? I don’t… I can’t…”  _

_ “Hey, can you look at me?”  _

_ Though he hesitated, Natsu reluctantly rolled over, his eyes glazed over with tears on the brink of falling.  _

_ “We’re all going to do everything we can to keep that from happening,” he promised. “And I know you’re going to fight it all you can, too. You’ll be okay. I know you will be. And even if…” He took a deep breath. “No matter what, I don’t think I’d ever stop loving you.”  _

_ Tears dripped down Natsu’s cheek, and he buried his face in Gray’s chest, soft, quiet sobs shaking his body.  _

_ Gray held him close with one hand, and stroked his hair with the other, just letting him get it out of his system. It was rare for Natsu to cry, nearly as rare as himself, so Gray just let him. He knew Lucy didn’t hold what happened against him, and he was sure the blonde would have that talk with him herself, so he would just focus on this.  _

_ “I won’t stop either,” Natsu suddenly whispered. “Loving you.”  _

_ “Huh?”  _

_ “If… if your demon seed takes over, I’ll still love you.”  _

_ “Yeah, I know, flamebrain. You’re stupid that way.” He buried his nose in the dragon slayer’s hair. “Stupid dragon.”  _

_ “Shut up, I’m serious.”  _

_ “I know…”  _

_ Gray could only hope that he could do the same if he ever changed, that he could still love Natsu in that state.  _

* * *

Bixlow’s body thudded down next to Evergreen’s, his joints twisted at all the wrong angles, soft, choked noises escaping him. 

Gray couldn’t contain the giddy laughter anymore, unable to deny that he was enjoying this. Enjoying completely destroying his enemies, coming out on top, the absolute victor. 

He gave Bixlow’s body one more kick, more ribs snapping with the blow, and he finally stilled. 

“I’m sorry…” Freed whispered. “I-I didn’t mean for this…” He fell backwards, unable to tear his eyes away from his fallen teammates. “Just change back! You can use your ice again! Please! Please, Gray!” 

Gray tilted his head, confused. “Change back?” Sure, it felt nice to have frost at his fingertips again, but he didn’t understand what Freed meant. His demon seed had bloomed with the dark power swirling inside him, encouraged and nurtured by Gray calling on that side of his magic. “That’s not how this works, Freed.” 

Somewhere in his head, Gray knew he should have hated this, should have been terrified, and horrified by what he’d just done. But he just didn’t care, all too caught up in this whirlwind of emotions, of excitement and pride at so thoroughly crushing his opponents. “You forced it to grow.” He held his hand to his chest, marveling at the black markings he used to hate so much. “You set it free.” His smile widened. “So thank you.” 

Freed whimpered, and scrambled back, fear and guilt warring in his eyes. 

Gray lunged, blades of ice springing from his fingertips, burrowing into the rune mage’s chest, leaving him to fall backwards with a dull thud, pathetic gurgling noises forcing their way out of his throat. 

Gray kneeled over him, delighted as he watched the light fade from Freed’s eyes. “I told you I could still use my ice.” 

Freed’s head listed to the side, the last, pitiful wheeze echoing. 

Gray hummed, and stood back to his full height, glancing between Freed and the rest of the Thunder Legion. Oh, he couldn’t wait to tell Natsu about this, to brag about how he’d single-handedly taken them down. 

He didn’t bother to walk around Freed’s corpse, rather stepping right on top of him, and set off to find his dragon slayer. 

* * *

Natsu smiled as he saw Gray rushing towards him, glad he was the first one to find him after this battle. He could barely stand up with all the wounds littering his body, and he couldn’t describe the relief flooding through him as he realized his boyfriend was okay. 

Until he noticed the black markings marring his skin, and felt a terrible, familiar, smothering presence coming from him. “Gray…?” He stumbled, tripping over his own feet and unable to catch himself due to his injuries. 

His boyfriend dashed forward, easily catching him and keeping him upright. “Hey… Careful there. You’re covered in blood.” 

Had this been any other situation, Natsu would have laughed, said something like  _ You should see the other guy, _ or anything similar. But now… 

There was no way. They were supposed to have more time.  _ Way _ more time. Nearly ten years! Ten years before he had to watch this happen, ten years before he had to come to terms with the fact that Gray… that he… 

“Natsu?” Gray held him closer, and brought one hand up to support his head, so gently,  _ too _ gently, for what had to be… “What did this?” he growled, something dark and possessive flaring to life in his purple-tinted eyes. “Who hurt you?” 

Natsu couldn’t even answer him. All he could do was stare, and  _ beg _ the universe that everything his senses told him was wrong. 

“Natsu!” Gray tightened his grip. “Answer me!” 

The dragon slayer’s legs gave out, and Gray just barely managed to catch him, not prepared to take his full weight. 

“What happened?” Natsu breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from the black markings, the way they still wiggled and writhed at the edge, like they might want to keep expanding. The pain from his own wounds vanished, as he was consumed with an overwhelming sense of despair. “Gray, please tell me… your magic…” 

Gray smiled, but it looked  _ wrong, _ all wrong. “I fought the Thunder Legion and won. Ain’t that nice?” He brushed away a drop of blood dripping down Natsu’s face with his thumb. “Now tell me what did this to you, and I’ll kill it next.” 

_ No… Oh god, please no…  _

Natsu hated how gentle he was being, how sincere. He could see it in Gray’s eyes, the same love and adoration that had always been there, even if there were other, new emotions lurking just beneath the surface. 

This wasn’t the monster he had expected when this happened. 

This was still Gray,  _ his _ Gray. 

Except… 

“Talk to me, Natsu.” Slowly, Gray lowered him to the ground. “Tell me what’s wrong.” 

_ You. You’re wrong. _

Gray took a deep breath, and softly stroked his hair. “It’s okay, I’ll protect you. Nothing will  _ ever _ hurt you again. I won’t let it.” 

“Please,” Natsu whimpered, though he had no idea who he was begging. “Please, Gray.” 

Gray pressed his forehead against Natsu’s, the smile on his face all too content for what he had just done. “I’m right here, Natsu. It’ll all be okay.” 

* * *

_ Natsu leaned his head against Gray’s shoulder. “This quest is a lot harder than I thought it would be.”  _

_Gray rolled his eyes and chuckled. “I don’t know what you were expecting from the_ hundred years _quest.”_

_ Natsu shrugged. “I dunno. But I was hoping for something a little more fun and a little less… I don’t know, you know.”  _

_ “I absolutely do not, Natsu,” he teased. “But we’ll do just fine all the same, just like we always do.”  _

_ “Yeah…” The dragon slayer rubbed his cheek against him. “You’re right.”  _

**Author's Note:**

> I promise Gray still loves him, just in a little bit more of a fucked up way now


End file.
